When it comes to relationships, being faithful isn’t just about not cheating physically. Emotional cheating can hurt just as much, if not more. It can slowly damage the trust and closeness you have with your partner. Often, these emotional connections with someone else start small but can grow into something more serious.

Sometimes, you might not even realize you’re getting emotionally attached to someone else. You might deny it’s happening or think it’s harmless. But if you don’t take responsibility for these feelings, it can lead to serious problems in your relationship and even cause a breakup. It’s important to understand that not every issue in a relationship can be blamed on toxicity.

Here are 10 subtle signs that you might be emotionally cheating on your partner:

1. You Hide Your Conversations From Your Partner

When you start feeling the need to hide your conversations with a particular person from your partner, it’s a red flag. You may rationalize it by thinking it’s to avoid unnecessary drama, but the need for secrecy indicates that you recognize there’s something inappropriate.

If your partner were to see these conversations, would they feel hurt or betrayed? Ask yourself why you feel the need to keep these interactions private. The emotional energy you invest in keeping this secret is the energy you’re taking away from your relationship.

2. You Avoid Mentioning Their Name Or You Mention Their Name Too Much To Your Partner

You might notice that conversations about this particular person are either suspiciously absent or surprisingly frequent.

Not mentioning their name might be an attempt to downplay their importance, while mentioning them too often can indicate an unconscious obsession. Both behaviors reflect a preoccupation with this person that surpasses normal friendship.

3. You Share Inside Jokes With Another

Sharing inside jokes with someone outside your relationship can be a form of emotional cheating. These shared experiences create a unique bond that can rival the one you have with your partner.

Inside jokes and special moments are often reserved for close relationships, and sharing them with someone else can create emotional intimacy. Rebuilding emotional intimacy within your relationship and not with another can help prevent the need to seek it elsewhere.

4. You Give Another Person Gifts and Defend It as a Friendly Act

When you find yourself giving gifts to someone outside your relationship and justifying it as just a friendly gesture, it’s a sign that you are emotionally cheating. You might tell yourself it’s no big deal, but deep down, you know there’s more to it. If your partner found out, how would they feel? Would they see it as innocent?

The emotional investment you make in selecting and giving that gift suggests a deeper connection. Think about why you feel the need to gift this person and whether it’s appropriate. Reflect on how you would feel if your partner did the same.

This behavior can create a divide in your relationship. It’s important to maintain boundaries and ensure that your actions align with the trust and commitment you have with your partner.

5. You Start Comparing Your Partner To Another

When you start comparing your partner unfavorably to another person, it indicates that you’re emotionally investing in someone else. You might find yourself thinking about how this other person understands you better or is more attentive to your needs.

These comparisons are unfair and can damage your perception of your partner and this can lead to an emotional distance between you and your partner.

6. You Confide Your Relationship Problems To Another

If you find yourself discussing your relationship issues with someone outside of it, seeking their advice or comfort, it’s a sign. Your partner should be your main confidant when it comes to your relationship.

By sharing these problems with someone else, you’re creating an emotional bond that can be hard to break. This person becomes your go-to for emotional support, which should ideally come from within your relationship.

7. You Feel Resentful Towards Your Partner

Feeling resentful towards your partner while feeling more connected to this other person is a sign of emotional cheating. This resentment often stems from unmet emotional needs and can create emotional distance in your relationship.

By feeling more connected to someone else, you’re undermining the bond you have with your partner, making it difficult to maintain trust and intimacy. This behavior can lead to further emotional detachment, making it challenging to rebuild a strong connection with your partner.

8. You Look Forward to Their Messages More Than Your Partner’s

You might feel a rush of happiness when you hear from this person, more so than when you receive messages from your partner. It’s that little flutter in your chest and the smile that creeps onto your face as you see their name pop up on your screen.

You might catch yourself checking your phone frequently, hoping to see a new message from them.

This emotional response suggests that you’re deriving more happiness and satisfaction from these interactions than you should be, indicating a deeper connection and an emotional investment that surpasses simple friendship.

9. You Feel More Understood By Another Than Your Partner

You often share your thoughts and experiences with this person that you don’t feel comfortable sharing with your partner. This might be because you feel this person “gets” you in a way your partner doesn’t.

Conversations with them might feel effortless and deeply satisfying, leading you to open up about things you usually keep to yourself.

This sense of being understood can create a strong emotional bond, making you look forward to these interactions and potentially creating a rift between you and your partner.

10. You Feel Guilty

When you’re with this particular person, you can’t shake the feeling of guilt. You might feel a knot in your stomach or a nagging voice in your head telling you that something isn’t right.

This guilt arises because, on some level, you recognize that you’re crossing a boundary. The emotional connection you have with this person is significant enough to make you question your actions, and this internal conflict is a clear sign that you’re aware of the lines being blurred.

Understanding and dealing with emotional cheating takes honesty and self-awareness. If you notice any of these signs in your behavior, it’s important to talk to your partner about it and you make sure to correct your mistakes if you want to keep your relationship.